Parental Pride...

I do not often get a chance to see the results of what is never more than one's best shot at parenting with no particular training for that important role. As a father, I can say that I always did my best given the circumstances, the knowledge I had and the overall mental health and well-being at the time. All the same, I know that I made huge mistakes, incredibly stupid blunders, and likely caused pain along the way.

Given that I still adhere to the idea that I did the best I could within each context, I am hugely proud whenever I get a chance to see what happened now that my children are adults. I had no idea that blogging would have that result.

This is not to say that I think my "girls" are infallible or that they, too, haven't made similarly outlandish blunders. I am content not knowing the details. What is special is to read about an incident, worry about how it might have turned out, and see that the parental messages, albeit maternal in the reference, made a difference and stuck.

Last evening, my spouse, my former spouse and I were looking through photos in an effort to select some great memories to share through a "toast to the bride" at my elder daughter's wedding coming up soon (see Inspired by Dooce ). "Inspired..." has recently moved to the East and is no longer close enough to have spontaneous meals with. However, my younger daughter (see Heather's Randomness ) was able to come as she is still in town. We had to rush through some of the evening's festivities in order to ensure that she could get to a certain establishment by 9:30, so some of the relaxed conversation was not quite as relaxed. However, I now try my best to enjoy every moment together as I now appreciate more deeply what a gift it is to share time with my daughters. Who cares if it is rushed?

Unfortunately, I have the cold that is being passed all over school by children, teachers, parents, and any visitor that seems to have a germ to share. Therefore I have less patience and my ADHD makes it difficult to be part of many different conversations at once when I am also trying to put the meal together. This is totally unnecessary information, but I thought I'd set the scene, context, whatever.

So Heather helped pick out some pictures, was involved in many phone conversations with friends as they prepared for this Halloween outing to one of the single's bars in town, and shared the latest adventures and frustrations. It was during dinner that she told me about her blogging and that of her sister. Off she went to enjoy herself and her mother, my hubby and I continued to look through pictures and scanned our little hearts away.

This morning I get to read about her outing and am filled with a sense of pride. What a strong, confident and well-balance woman she has become. It all reminds me of how wonderful they are and how quickly their childhood traveled along.

As a child, I always found the years go by with a dreadful slowness that made me wonder if I would ever live to be an adult. Did my children experience the same sense of slowness? How is it that I find that their childhood years have sped along? I still remember the hours of labour and their individual births as if it were yesterday, rather than the 25 and 21 years that have gone by since.

All the same, I wouldn't trade them away and do them all over. What kind of different mistakes would I make? Though I would love to eradicate any pain I caused them, I do not want to eliminate any of the lessons they might have learned as a result of that pain. It seems that whatever they learned has served them well to this point. How can I be sure that I could do it better a second time around? They are so wonderfully imperfect just the way they are. I enjoy spending time with them. What a wonderful result!