Susan
Yesterday, after a short meeting that I had with the minister at the church where I work, I came downstairs and there was a woman waiting who was visibly upset. I asked her if I could help her and she asked if I was the minister. I told her that I was the child and youth coordinator and she told me through tears that her daughter was just taken into foster care. She then asked if I would go to the sanctuary and pray with her. I didn't think much about it and agreed to do so.
This is the first time anyone has ever asked me to pray WITH them. It was a new experience and I wondered internally what I would do. It just came naturally.
I didn't pray for some outside force to come and help this woman and her daughter. I prayed, instead, for the God inside us all to come and respond to the needs that were being expressed by the young woman as she sat beside me. I felt so incredibly connected to her as she gave cues about what she needed. I hoped that we would be able to connect with her daughter as she experienced her own pain in this time of tumult in their lives. This wasn't about giving over control or power, but it was about sharing and support. It was about invoking all that might be helpful and supportive.
Afterwards, I invited her to return if she ever wanted to do this again. What an honour to be able to share with someone. Thank you, Susan.
Loving God, I know you are inside me.
I invite you to be a part of everything I am and do.
I want to think with your mind.
I want to love with your heart.
Please show me the truth that I know is inside.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Monday, October 29, 2007
So....
The dry-waller had difficulty with some of his workers when he was doing our walls. So he was a couple of days late. This pushed the cabinets back two days, but they told me they would have no problem finishing in two days. After three days, I asked them about the granite template people coming the next day. "No way we'll be done."
So when I call to let them know and reschedule for two days later, I can't book them for a week and a half. So now we'll be a week and a half late moving in. That's about 9 more drives in from Dead Man's Flats and nine more drives out from Calgary. The sinks can't go in until the granite is there. The plumber doesn't want to come and just connect the shower, washer & dryer, dishwasher and fridge and NOT do the sinks. We CAN'T stay there with no water. So we now have to pay another month's storage fee, have 18 more trips between Calgary and Dead Man's Flats, and I am grumpy.
However, if I want to be more like Bhudda, I need to let this go. I must not be attached to bottom lines and results, but enjoy the journey. I need to learn whatever it is that this is teaching me. Think it might be something about patience? Acceptance? Might I just need to see 9 more sunrises and 9 more sunsets over the rockies?
This will give Mocha and Latte 9 more days to be in a familiar place before their lives are, yet again, disrupted. OK. I have let it go and am doing my best to heal my karma and join the sutra.
The dry-waller had difficulty with some of his workers when he was doing our walls. So he was a couple of days late. This pushed the cabinets back two days, but they told me they would have no problem finishing in two days. After three days, I asked them about the granite template people coming the next day. "No way we'll be done."
So when I call to let them know and reschedule for two days later, I can't book them for a week and a half. So now we'll be a week and a half late moving in. That's about 9 more drives in from Dead Man's Flats and nine more drives out from Calgary. The sinks can't go in until the granite is there. The plumber doesn't want to come and just connect the shower, washer & dryer, dishwasher and fridge and NOT do the sinks. We CAN'T stay there with no water. So we now have to pay another month's storage fee, have 18 more trips between Calgary and Dead Man's Flats, and I am grumpy.
However, if I want to be more like Bhudda, I need to let this go. I must not be attached to bottom lines and results, but enjoy the journey. I need to learn whatever it is that this is teaching me. Think it might be something about patience? Acceptance? Might I just need to see 9 more sunrises and 9 more sunsets over the rockies?
This will give Mocha and Latte 9 more days to be in a familiar place before their lives are, yet again, disrupted. OK. I have let it go and am doing my best to heal my karma and join the sutra.
Monday, October 22, 2007
So I think this blog is going to be the one where I share thoughts about life, but not necessarily about my faith. My "Ditties" blog will be where I share some of the humour I come across or just the various strange, but funny, incidents that happen in life.
I am finding the transition out of my identity as "teacher or principal" to that of "lay minister" is going along without TOO many attacks of guilt or remorse. Perhaps this is because I am still finding my way with the lay ministry stuff. It is all so new. I do find that I am more aware of my language than I used to be. I was always careful in front of children, but now I find myself being careful around everyone.
I am also finding that I am less patient with myself. The other day, I was talking with someone and this person was approaching me with very little respect and seemed to want to tell me all about aspects of my work that I feel very competent about. In fact, some of it was stuff with which I think I have great expertise. I was getting irritated. I started reflecting on the several conversations I have had with this individual over the last few months and they all seemed to be lectures about subjects with which I feel very knowledgeable. As my irritation grew, I suddenly felt not very competent in the realm of acceptance. I can't go along and not like this person. I have to find something that I cherish. This is not going to be as easy as I have found it with children in the past.
Kids are easy to see from all sides. Sure, almost all of them have little quirks that can be focussed upon to make one dislike them. However, they also have so many charming aspects upon which one can focus that it is easy to love them. I'm going to have to develop the same skill with adults. I think this is where I am going to have to work hard.
So what do you think? Is it an expectation that I should love and accept everyone with who I come in contact?
I am finding the transition out of my identity as "teacher or principal" to that of "lay minister" is going along without TOO many attacks of guilt or remorse. Perhaps this is because I am still finding my way with the lay ministry stuff. It is all so new. I do find that I am more aware of my language than I used to be. I was always careful in front of children, but now I find myself being careful around everyone.
I am also finding that I am less patient with myself. The other day, I was talking with someone and this person was approaching me with very little respect and seemed to want to tell me all about aspects of my work that I feel very competent about. In fact, some of it was stuff with which I think I have great expertise. I was getting irritated. I started reflecting on the several conversations I have had with this individual over the last few months and they all seemed to be lectures about subjects with which I feel very knowledgeable. As my irritation grew, I suddenly felt not very competent in the realm of acceptance. I can't go along and not like this person. I have to find something that I cherish. This is not going to be as easy as I have found it with children in the past.
Kids are easy to see from all sides. Sure, almost all of them have little quirks that can be focussed upon to make one dislike them. However, they also have so many charming aspects upon which one can focus that it is easy to love them. I'm going to have to develop the same skill with adults. I think this is where I am going to have to work hard.
So what do you think? Is it an expectation that I should love and accept everyone with who I come in contact?
Friday, October 19, 2007
A friend sent me this story today. I thought it was worth sharing. What do you think?
Rain Washed
Author Unknown
A little girl had been shopping with her Mom in Target. She must have been 6 years old, this beautiful red haired, freckle faced image of innocence. It was pouring outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the top of rain gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to flow down the spout. We all stood there under the awning and just inside the door of the Target.
We waited, some patiently, others irritated because nature messed up their hurried day. I am always mesmerized by rainfall. I got lost in the sound and sight of the heavens washing away the dirt and dust of the world. Memories of running, splashing so carefree as a child came pouring in as a welcome reprieve from the worries of my day.
The little voice was so sweet as it broke the hypnotic trance we were all caught in, "Mom, let's run through the rain," she said.
"What?" Mom asked.
"Let's run through the rain!" She repeated.
"No, honey. We'll wait until it slows down a bit," Mom replied.
This young child waited about another minute and repeated, "Mom, let's run through the rain."
"We'll get soaked if we do," Mom said.
"No, we won't, Mom. That's not what you said this morning," the young girl said as she tugged at her Mom's arm.
"This morning? When did I say we could run through the rain and not get wet?"
"Don't you remember? When you were talking to Daddy about his cancer, you said, 'If God can get us through this, he can get us through anything!'"
The entire crowd stopped dead silent. I swear you couldn't hear anything but the rain. We all stood silently. No one came or left in the next few minutes.
Mom paused and thought for a moment about what she would say. Now some would laugh it off and scold her for being silly. Some might even ignore what was said. But this was a moment of affirmation in a young child's life. A time when innocent trust can be nurtured so that it will bloom into faith.
"Honey, you are absolutely right. Let's run through the rain. If God let's us get wet, well maybe we just needed washing," Mom said.
Then off they ran. We all stood watching, smiling and laughing as they darted past the cars and yes, through the puddles. They held their shopping bags over their heads just in case. They got soaked. But they were followed by a few who screamed and laughed like children all the way to their cars.
And yes, I did. I ran. I got wet. I needed washing.
Circumstances or people can take away your material possessions, they can take away your money, and they can take away your health. But no one can ever take away your precious memories... So, don't forget to make time and take opportunities to make memories everyday. To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven.
I hope you still take the time to run through the rain.
Rain Washed
Author Unknown
A little girl had been shopping with her Mom in Target. She must have been 6 years old, this beautiful red haired, freckle faced image of innocence. It was pouring outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the top of rain gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to flow down the spout. We all stood there under the awning and just inside the door of the Target.
We waited, some patiently, others irritated because nature messed up their hurried day. I am always mesmerized by rainfall. I got lost in the sound and sight of the heavens washing away the dirt and dust of the world. Memories of running, splashing so carefree as a child came pouring in as a welcome reprieve from the worries of my day.
The little voice was so sweet as it broke the hypnotic trance we were all caught in, "Mom, let's run through the rain," she said.
"What?" Mom asked.
"Let's run through the rain!" She repeated.
"No, honey. We'll wait until it slows down a bit," Mom replied.
This young child waited about another minute and repeated, "Mom, let's run through the rain."
"We'll get soaked if we do," Mom said.
"No, we won't, Mom. That's not what you said this morning," the young girl said as she tugged at her Mom's arm.
"This morning? When did I say we could run through the rain and not get wet?"
"Don't you remember? When you were talking to Daddy about his cancer, you said, 'If God can get us through this, he can get us through anything!'"
The entire crowd stopped dead silent. I swear you couldn't hear anything but the rain. We all stood silently. No one came or left in the next few minutes.
Mom paused and thought for a moment about what she would say. Now some would laugh it off and scold her for being silly. Some might even ignore what was said. But this was a moment of affirmation in a young child's life. A time when innocent trust can be nurtured so that it will bloom into faith.
"Honey, you are absolutely right. Let's run through the rain. If God let's us get wet, well maybe we just needed washing," Mom said.
Then off they ran. We all stood watching, smiling and laughing as they darted past the cars and yes, through the puddles. They held their shopping bags over their heads just in case. They got soaked. But they were followed by a few who screamed and laughed like children all the way to their cars.
And yes, I did. I ran. I got wet. I needed washing.
Circumstances or people can take away your material possessions, they can take away your money, and they can take away your health. But no one can ever take away your precious memories... So, don't forget to make time and take opportunities to make memories everyday. To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven.
I hope you still take the time to run through the rain.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
I came upon this as I started to think about a new post. I wrote it on the 21st of March. Today is the 3rd of May and I am reflecting heavily upon my career, what it is to be an educator, who I am and how I will proceed into the future. It is serendipitous. Have a read and I will pick up at the end of what I wrote back in March.
So this is burn out....
I was out to dinner with friends last Saturday. Some of our closest friends - the ones who care about you deeply.
I thought it might be an idea to let them know that I was trying to implement a shorter work week. There will be more shared later as to some of the thinking around that, but I thought I would share some about where I am at the moment, how I am planning to get where I want to be, and how it seems so strange to be doing this.
I have been teaching within the public education system in Canada and the U. S. for over thirty-one years. When I was in high school, I knew that this was what my life should be about.
Now, to show how naive I was back then, I thought I was going to change the world by teaching children how to speak French. This is me the naive one as I graduated from High School. I barely look pubescent!
So this is burn out....
I was out to dinner with friends last Saturday. Some of our closest friends - the ones who care about you deeply.
I thought it might be an idea to let them know that I was trying to implement a shorter work week. There will be more shared later as to some of the thinking around that, but I thought I would share some about where I am at the moment, how I am planning to get where I want to be, and how it seems so strange to be doing this.
I have been teaching within the public education system in Canada and the U. S. for over thirty-one years. When I was in high school, I knew that this was what my life should be about.
Now, to show how naive I was back then, I thought I was going to change the world by teaching children how to speak French. This is me the naive one as I graduated from High School. I barely look pubescent!I went off to university, studied French and secondary education and found myself, after a year of teaching in the states, out here in the Canadian West, teaching for a couple of years before returning to my "home" to continue my career.
Unfortunately, I found that teaching was far more exciting in the Canadian West than in New England. As well, I found that it might well be possible to change the world out here where thoughts remained young and malleable rather than the heart of reactionary thought in North America at that time (a long time ago...in the 60's and 70's). An added benefit was that I could teach ANYTHING here as opposed to being certified only to teach French and Drama to secondary students (grades 7 - 12) in New England. I spread my wings and explored the teaching of Family Life and Sex Education. I 
took a master's degree in counseling psychology and psycho-educational programming so that I could be a part of a whole new realm of teaching and learning. (Yeah, that's me the MEd. Grad to the left)
I found that teaching is a mission - not a job. The career is more like a vocation or avocation - not dissimilar to that of a priest, than a professional pursuit that enhances life. I sped along going full speed and giving everything I could and some. It seemed right and reasonable that I should work 120%. Kids need that, and we teachers need to be able to give it to them.
The problem is that when you give more than you have, there are negative side effects. You get sick, tired, lose a sense of reality, think that the world revolves around children and their school-aged lives.
Here we are, back in May.
So now, I am off on full-time sick leave. The benefits insurer has decided that I am either well enough to be at work full-time or I am home full-time. So, because I do not want to get sicker, I am home.
Because I really think I want to get back to work, I am exploring all the possible aspects of why I am ill including my emotional well-being. Had a session with my psychologist today. It related so closely to what I see my daughter going through in her training the be a flight attendant.
She is really down on herself right now because she burst into tears during her training to put out fires (literally) on a plane. The tremendous weight of responsibility was there - at the forefront, and she started crying.
She cares...perhaps too much.
During my session with my psych, it came up: Perhaps I am sick because I care too much. No, let's go back. I AM sick because I care too much.
I am not saying that this is a bad thing. Those of you who think that one can not care too much are already shaking your heads. However, I am saying that caring too much is also a strength.
I am good at what I do because I care too much. I was not always available for my children when they wanted me to be there because I care too much. I don't work in moderation because I care too much. My health is not what it should be because I care too much.
So now I need to ponder some other questions:
- When do I start caring about myself?
- When do I let others care for me?
- When will I accept that I am already doing a great job?
- What am I trying to prove?
- When do I allow myself to rely on the expertise of others?
- When have I had enough?
- How do I create balance in my life between work and other things I love to do?
These are some of the reflections that are taking up my time. I am also looking at exercise, what I eat, how I spend my day, and how I let my thoughts influence my well-being.
This caring too much has my attention at the moment.
I wonder.
Monday, March 20, 2006
ComingUpToRetirement?
The only thing that is true about change today is that it will happen, whether we embrace it or fight it is our choice. However, change will happen!
I was peacefully enjoying a day at home to help support a return of health when I received a phone call from a colleague and the person in charge of "accommodation" for the school board with which I work. He was calling to let me know that a school nearby had sustained some structural damage last spring and that they would close at the end of the next day. We would receive all the grade 5 & 6's from their school and we needed to be ready for their arrival by Monday morning at 8:00 AM.
So began the most amazing few days.
I had not realized how much my younger daughter worries about me and my health. You can read her blog at her blog. I love her dearly which is why I am so actively trying to protect my health right now. I want to be around when and if she marries and I was to be around to support both of them if they decide to have children.....I want to be the doting grandpa.
About this move... though it all sounds nightmarish, it was far worse being part of the school that had to move. Granted we had to find space for them. The hardest part of my week was telling the kindergarten teacher, who had the most wonderful double classroom and had pretty much spread all over the place, that she had to move every little piece of equipment up stairs to a single room much smaller that any other classroom space.
The best part of the entire process is/are/whatever the incredible people with whom I work. There were no complaints. Lots of extra work - made even more difficult by the students being there while we sorted through and got rid of 4.5 tonnes of "stuff." We had made tentative plans to do this clean up over the next four months to prepare for receiving about the same number of children next fall. So instead of 4 months, we had two days.
This morning (Monday), at 8:00, the kids from the other school arrived, entered the building and their classes started as if there had been no big fuss. At 9:00, our kids arrived and until they heard the faint sound of a bell ringing outside to tell the other school that recess was over, they really didn't realize that the other kids were there.
Just before our "Welcome Assembly", I was contacted by the local TV station to be interviewed to tell how the "ordeal" went. Truly, no matter how awful it might have been, I was not going to admit to anyone that there was a problem, or that we were not happy with them coming to our building.
They do everything an hour earlier than us, so we are never on the playground at the same time, in the gym at the same time, or really involved with anything together.
So, H. Thank you for your thoughts. Perhaps that's what kept me calm the whole time.
Thank you as well, to one of the most amazing groups of people I know - my staff. You are incredible!
Thank you to the most amazing group of labourers and movers assemble by Dewaine from shipping and receiving. They performed miracle after miracle both Thursday and Friday.
The only thing that is true about change today is that it will happen, whether we embrace it or fight it is our choice. However, change will happen!
I was peacefully enjoying a day at home to help support a return of health when I received a phone call from a colleague and the person in charge of "accommodation" for the school board with which I work. He was calling to let me know that a school nearby had sustained some structural damage last spring and that they would close at the end of the next day. We would receive all the grade 5 & 6's from their school and we needed to be ready for their arrival by Monday morning at 8:00 AM.
So began the most amazing few days.
I had not realized how much my younger daughter worries about me and my health. You can read her blog at her blog. I love her dearly which is why I am so actively trying to protect my health right now. I want to be around when and if she marries and I was to be around to support both of them if they decide to have children.....I want to be the doting grandpa.
About this move... though it all sounds nightmarish, it was far worse being part of the school that had to move. Granted we had to find space for them. The hardest part of my week was telling the kindergarten teacher, who had the most wonderful double classroom and had pretty much spread all over the place, that she had to move every little piece of equipment up stairs to a single room much smaller that any other classroom space.
The best part of the entire process is/are/whatever the incredible people with whom I work. There were no complaints. Lots of extra work - made even more difficult by the students being there while we sorted through and got rid of 4.5 tonnes of "stuff." We had made tentative plans to do this clean up over the next four months to prepare for receiving about the same number of children next fall. So instead of 4 months, we had two days.
This morning (Monday), at 8:00, the kids from the other school arrived, entered the building and their classes started as if there had been no big fuss. At 9:00, our kids arrived and until they heard the faint sound of a bell ringing outside to tell the other school that recess was over, they really didn't realize that the other kids were there.
Just before our "Welcome Assembly", I was contacted by the local TV station to be interviewed to tell how the "ordeal" went. Truly, no matter how awful it might have been, I was not going to admit to anyone that there was a problem, or that we were not happy with them coming to our building.
They do everything an hour earlier than us, so we are never on the playground at the same time, in the gym at the same time, or really involved with anything together.
So, H. Thank you for your thoughts. Perhaps that's what kept me calm the whole time.
Thank you as well, to one of the most amazing groups of people I know - my staff. You are incredible!
Thank you to the most amazing group of labourers and movers assemble by Dewaine from shipping and receiving. They performed miracle after miracle both Thursday and Friday.
Saturday, March 04, 2006
One of those stories that needs sharing.
I have worked with autistic kids in the past. I just received this from a friend with whom I have taught. Follow the link for a good story of perseverance and self-confidence. Autism
I only wish the coach could have tried some time when he wasn't so confident of winning.
I have worked with autistic kids in the past. I just received this from a friend with whom I have taught. Follow the link for a good story of perseverance and self-confidence. Autism
I only wish the coach could have tried some time when he wasn't so confident of winning.
The Wedding Reception
The response received was positive, so I am adding some photos from the reception. Please bear with me as these are taken from a video. Thank you again, Frank Lam, for taking your time from the weekend to do this for us. We hope that some of the process was enjoyable!
The reception was held at the Highwood Dining Room at SAIT. The manager and her crew were absolutley wonderful to us and provided an excellent experience for the entire wedding party.
I hope you enjoy the pics. I hope that I haven't trespassed on anyone by including their picture and first name. I tried to ensure that I was not identifying you too narrowly.
Appologies to those not pictured and those not named. I was being discreet.
By the way....I had an absolute blast and was surprised that I wold enjoy myself SO MUCH.
Thants all for Now!
The response received was positive, so I am adding some photos from the reception. Please bear with me as these are taken from a video. Thank you again, Frank Lam, for taking your time from the weekend to do this for us. We hope that some of the process was enjoyable!
The reception was held at the Highwood Dining Room at SAIT. The manager and her crew were absolutley wonderful to us and provided an excellent experience for the entire wedding party.
I hope you enjoy the pics. I hope that I haven't trespassed on anyone by including their picture and first name. I tried to ensure that I was not identifying you too narrowly.
Appologies to those not pictured and those not named. I was being discreet.
By the way....I had an absolute blast and was surprised that I wold enjoy myself SO MUCH.
Thants all for Now!
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